Am I Living It Right?
by squirlymoo
Summary: On a quiet drive, Squall contemplates his life. (short, with very mild language)


Disclaimer: I dun own Squall, Squaresoft does. If they'd like to sell him, they can call me, I'd be willing to pay.  
  
'Am I Living It Right?' By Courtney cuz she was bored Original song "Why Georgia" © John Mayer  
  
/I am driving up 85 in the kind of morning that lasts all afternoon I'm just stuck inside the gloom\  
  
Squall shifted the gear in his cheap Garden-provided car and sighed. Tonight was the SeeD inauguration ball and, as a position-holding member of the committee, he was required to give a speech. He really didn't want to. With tired fingers he fiddled with the car's radio, hoping to find a decent station, eventually landing on an Eagles' song he liked.  
  
/4 more exits to my apartment but I am tempted to keep the car in drive and leave it all behind\  
  
As Squall neared the Garden, he contemplated skipping tonight's ball and what the consequences might be. He'd probably be demoted, Cid would lecture him about being a good influence for the other classmen, Quistis would remind him of his misconduct for years to come. Did he care?  
  
/cause I wander sometimes about the outcome Of a still verdictless life am I living it right am I living it right am I living it right why, why Georgia, why\  
  
That particular thought worried him. Maybe he wasn't supposed to be here. Maybe this wasn't really what he was supposed to be doing with his life. But wasn't it? He'd spent so many years training to be where he was. "Should I want to do this?", he wondered aloud. "I should want to do what I'm doing, right? .Why the hell don't I?"  
  
/rent a room and I fill the spaces with wood and places to make it feel like home but all I feel's alone\  
  
He pulled the car to the side of the road about a mile from the Garden, with almost an hour until the ball. A quick glance around revealed your standard Model 7XG car - all faculty members had one- same color and interior as every other one built. Nothing made it stand out from the others in the garage. If you didn't know your license plate number, then you had to walk around locking and unlocking it until you followed the noise to your car.  
  
/it might be a quarter life crisis or just the stirring in my soul either way\  
  
"Oh, hell." He banged his hand down on the dashboard. "I can't go tonight. I can't deal with her.and I don't want to deal with him." Her would be Rinoa, they'd had a nasty breakup a few months back and she was still horribly sore about the whole ordeal. Him was Zell, who was trying his damndest to hook Squall up with any of the single female classmates. If Rinoa were to see Squall with someone else, it would not end pretty. Not that Squall really felt affections towards anyone at all right now.  
  
/I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life am I living it right am I living it right am I living it right why, why Georgia, why\  
  
Well, maybe that wasn't entirely true. There was at least one person he still liked. He wouldn't ever share that, of course.  
  
/so what so I've got a smile on It's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head don't believe me don't you dare believe me when I say I've got it down\  
  
The car sputtered back to life at a turn of the key. A very small, nearly unnoticeable smile played on Squall's lips as an older Julia Heartilly song came on the radio. He hummed along to the words as he drove slowly towards Balamb.  
  
/everybody is just a stranger but that's the danger in going my own way I guess it's a price I have to pay still everything happens for a reason is no reason not to ask yourself if you are living it right\  
  
Who cares about the SeeD ball, demotions and Headmaster Cid's pointless reprimands? He parked just outside of Balamb, and walked through the town as quickly as possible, reaching the train station only moments before it closed for the day. There, he bought himself a one-way ticket to Esthar. He was going to see Laguna. No, he was going to a place he now considered home.  
  
/are you living it right are you living it right why, why Georgia, why?\ 


End file.
